I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
