Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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