How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
