This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
