Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
