Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
