I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
