I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
