We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
