He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
