Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
