I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you didnt know i had herpes?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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