So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
