"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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