Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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