Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
