I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
