i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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