I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
