I wish my penis had an off switch
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
