i don't like sucking hair
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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