Michael Bay diarrhea
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
