brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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