you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
