So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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