When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
