It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
