Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
