Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
