He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
