Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
