a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
