hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
