WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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