i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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