Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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