I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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