Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Come share oat with me in your robe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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