Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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