I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
