I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
