one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
