Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
