Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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