then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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