Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
