I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
