only if we run a train.
done.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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