Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
