Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
