my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Everclear isn't food dammit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
