her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize