Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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