She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
