i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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