i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
