The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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