I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
