Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
