it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
