Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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