like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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