meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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