Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
