So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
