i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
